


Chimney's Pun-ishment

by abow123456



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bad Puns, Crack, Firehouse 118 Crew as Family (9-1-1 TV), Marriage Proposal, Multi, Puns & Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-29 01:07:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30148383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abow123456/pseuds/abow123456
Summary: In preparation of the birth of his daughter, Chimney has been testing out his 'Dad Jokes' on the long-suffering 118.And now, it's time for payback.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Howie "Chimney" Han & Firehouse 118 Crew, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 18
Kudos: 225
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales, Finished 911 Stories I Love





	Chimney's Pun-ishment

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally just crack. Don't even ask.

“I swear to god Chimney, if you make _one more joke_ , I will murder you.” Buck groans into his hands. 

“What? I’m just getting my practice in before-“

“Before the baby gets here, we know.’ Hen cuts the man off. ‘But we are all sick and tired of being your guinea pigs.”

“Yeah man, give it a rest.” Eddie chimes in, running a hand up and down Bucks back.

“Are they really that bad?” Chimney asks, popping his gum. 

“ **Yes!** ” Buck, Hen, Eddie, Bobby, Athena, Martin, Riley, Tanika and everyone and their mothers groan. 

Chimney simply snorts at them all, before disappearing down the stairs. 

“We need to get revenge for the weeks of torture he’s inflicted on us.” Hen hums. 

That gets Buck sitting up straight. Well-

“I like the way you think, Henrietta.' He smirks. ‘What’s the plan?”

She leans into the centre of the table, and all its occupants copy her, listening in…

—

Chimney is the only one in the kitchen at the start of shift when Buck arrives the next morning. _Perfect._

Not five minutes after Bucks arrival, Eddie climbs the stairs, making a beeline for his boyfriend. 

“Hey babe, here I am. What’re your other two wishes?” He smirks. 

Chimney rolls his eyes. 

“Hi baby. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only _ten I see_.” Buck grins back. 

“Rude.” Chimney calls. 

Eddie ignores the older man completely as he leans down and kisses his boyfriend sweetly, finally noticing what’s in his hands. 

“Hey, you like raisins? How about a date?”

“Hey, Ed’s. Feel my shirt. It’s made from boyfriend material.”

“Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?”

“Okay, what’s going on?” Chimney asks cautiously, interrupting them. 

The couple turn their heads to see him watching them both closely, his eyebrows pinched together. 

“I dunno what you mean, Chim. I’m just talking to my boyfriend.” Buck shrugs. 

Chimney narrows his eyes. 

“You’re being really… openly affectionate with each other this morning. Way more than usual. You’re up to something and I know it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Can’t I be nice to my boyfriend once in a while?” Eddie asks, tilting his head innocently. 

“No. I don’t trust it.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Ignore him, baby. I must be in a museum, because you truly are a piece of art.”

“It’s a good thing you know CPR, because you’re taking my breath away.”

“Do you have a band-aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you even more.”

“Okay that’s enough.” Chimney announces as he makes a hasty retreat downstairs, grabbing the ambulance inventory log as he goes. 

“This is going to be so much fun.” Buck smirks, high fiving his boyfriend.

Eddie winks back at him, before they pull apart from each other and go to get started on breakfast for Bobby. 

—

“Is this how you make holy water?” Hen asks Chimney later that afternoon as they attempt to help Bobby cook lunch. 

“What?” The man frowns. 

“You boiled the hell out of that water, that makes it holy now, right?”

“What?’ Chimney repeats. ‘That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“But it’s valid.’ Bobby comments, scratching his chin. ‘I think you’re onto something there, Hen.”

“Thanks Cap!” Hen beams. 

“I’m out.” Chimney throws his hands in the air and leaves the kitchen, moving over to where Martin is sat reading a book.

“Hey Chim.” The man greets. 

“Hey.” Chimney grumbles back.

“Are you a horse?” He asks suddenly.

“What? No…”

“Oh. So why the long face?”

“Has everyone is the fire house lost their minds today?” Chimney groans, burying his face in his palms. 

“What’s the matter Chim?” Athena chuckles as she walks up the stairs. 

“I’m surrounded by crazy people.” The man pouts as he looks up at her. 

“Well, you know what they say.’ The woman shrugs. Chimney sits up a little straighter in his seat, eager to take the wisdom about to be bestowed on him by the woman. ‘When life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.”

“Oh my god not you too. Is there something in the air? Is everyone drugged again?”

“Are you feeling okay Chimney?’ Eddie asks from his seat on the couch. ‘You look pretty pale. Do you need a lamp?”

“Why on earth would I need a lamp?”

“To lighten up a little!”

“Hey Ed’s, can we go to Target after work?’ Buck asks from the other side of Martin ‘I went shopping for camouflage pants yesterday, but I couldn’t see any.”

“I had this crazy dream last night.’ Riley suddenly states. ‘I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda, but it was just a Fanta Sea.”

“I lost my mood ring this morning and I don’t know how to feel about it.” Tanika sighs. 

“Hey Martin, what’re you reading?” Eddie asks. 

“It’s a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down!” Martin tells him. 

“Okay, stop!” Chimney cries as he stands up. 

Everyone eyes turn to him, looking anything but innocent. 

“What’s wrong Chim?” Bobby asks slowly. 

“You! All of you! You’re acting weird!” The man exclaims. 

“We’re not doing anything, **you’re** the one acting weird.” Hen shrugs. 

Chimney groans and storms off to the toilets. The crowd he leaves behind all smirk at each other knowingly. 

—

“Whoah, hey guys?’ Buck says, sitting up straight in the back of the truck on their way back from a call, getting everyones attention. ‘Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school today?”

“No? What happened?” Chimney demands. 

“Oh nothing, he woke up.”

“Are you serious?” Chimney sighs. 

“Yeah, I mean on one hand he fell asleep, but on the other hand he’s fine.” Buck beams. 

“Somebody better call god, because he’s missing an angel.” Eddie sighs happily.

“Oh stop it you. If you were any sweeter you’d be candy. And I do love sucking on things.”

“Oh is that right?” Eddie purrs. 

“Is anybody else hearing this?” Chimney exclaims. 

“Hmm? What?’ Riley asks from the drivers seat. ‘I don’t hear anything, do you Cap?”

“Not a thing.’ Bobby shrugs. ‘Hen?”

“Nothing here, Cap.” Hen chirps. 

“I need a drink.” Chimney groans and thumps his head against the side of the truck. 

—

“So tell me Chim. Did you like the taste of your own medicine?” Maddie asks as she appears at the top of the staircase near the end of shift, a smirk firmly in place. 

“... what?” The man questions. 

“How did it feel to have to listen to your coworkers stupid jokes and pickup lines and puns?”

“Wait. _That’s_ what this was?” Chimney asks the room. 

Everyone stares at him for a long second, before dissolving into fits of laughter. 

“Oh man you should’ve seen your face!” Buck wheezes. 

“Hen, your holy water joke nearly took me out of the game.” Bobby admits through his laughter. 

“No, it was the anti gravity book for me.” Eddie chokes out. 

“Yeah, laugh it up you lot.’ Chimney scowls, but his lips are twitching. ‘I was _this close_ to checking in with a doctor to see if I’d hit my head or something.” He exclaims and holds his thumb and forefinger out to demonstrate just how close.

“That’s what you get.’ Hen tells him once they’ve all calmed down somewhat. ‘So will you stop with the jokes now?”

“Yes I’ll stop! I promise.’ Chimney sighs exasperatedly. ‘And I don’t want to hear another cheesy chat up line from either of you for as long as I live!” He points between Buck and Eddie. 

“You don’t like listening to how in love we are with each other?” Buck gasps, scandalised. 

“No I do not. You’re basically my brothers, I know what goes on behind closed doors but I can live very happily without you talking about it ever again.”

“I guess we can tone it down a little, seeing as he promised to stop with the jokes.” Eddie shrugs. 

“Yeah, you’re right. Just one more before we do, though.” Buck says. 

“Shoot.”

“I don’t like my last name, can I have yours?”

A shocked gasp goes through the crowd. 

“Evan. Are you asking what I think you’re asking?” Eddie whispers. 

Buck grins bashfully as he falls to one knee and produces a small black velvet box, that's housing a simple black titanium band, from his pant pocket. 

“Yeah, I am. Edmundo Diaz, will you marry me?” 

Eddie stays frozen to the spot for a few seconds, before he flies forwards and kisses Buck with such force, he nearly knocks them both to the ground. 

“Yes!’ He mumbles against the mans lips. ‘Yes yes yes! A thousand times yes!”

Everyone erupts into cheers for them, but Buck only has eyes for his **fiancé**. 

Today was definitely one to remember.


End file.
